Cat Diary 28

When I was totally mellowed out the pernickety old woman vacuumed up all my catnip that I have fallen in love with!!

This pic of me mellowed out before she did the vacuuming. See the leaves?

Why would she do that?

She said you’re not eating.

I didn’t feel the need to eat and she worries?

But last night she spread out a brown pillow case for me that had the rest of the catnip supply in it Tthat she had whip-stitched shut, she said. For me to spend the night on. Which I did.

This morning she took it away. To air it, she said.

What for? I like it the way it is. But anyway, she laid out the usual track of breakfast kibbles for me and I set off finding them, eating them along the way, and keeping body and soul together.

Cat Diary 27

What happened yesterday is I fell off the palace. A shock to the system I tell you. The old woman’s too. So then I was crabby and when she touched me … well you guessed it.

The structure might’ve been made for smaller cats than me and the floors on it are all hard and slippery.

But probably she forgave me because today she spread a bunch of dried catnip leaves on the floor and I’ve been having fun rolling around in it.

The pillow case was meant to contain the leaves but spilled as soon as I had my way with it.

She said nevermind we have a vacuum cleaner.

Cat Diary 26

Well she did something stupendous! See this thing? All my evening meal spread over it and she expects me to engage with it!

She got it from a cat living on the sixth floor, a certain Dolly. Apparently Dolly didn’t like it and neither do I so far.

Of course I’ll be eating all the kibbles off it. I’ll eat kibbles however and whenever they come.

Nope, I’m telling a lie there.

One Saturday the old woman came home from shopping with a blue top. There’s a couple of holes in it where she pushes a few kibbles into the top of the top. And there’s this gold tingaling thing hanging in it.

That’s me studying it. So far it’s just easier to force the old woman to work it, and eat the kibbles as they roll out.

She’s wising up to me, though. she’s letting me starve, not reacting to any of my hints about getting more kibbles out. Soon I will have to ‘engage’ either with the blue top or with the castle.

Or with her. Her feet, for instance. Make her run to the kibble tin.

Cat Diary 25

I’ve been trying to tell how bored I am every night when the old woman shuts me in the den.

The carpet under the door is my nightly target. I’ve managed to strip out three lines of weaving. The old woman tells everyone she’ll be having someone in the install a metal strip. So I’m shredding carpet while I can.

But really I want to run and jump and play zoomies at night. I want to play on the balcony. I want my true freedom. But the old woman tricks me every night. She tosses a handful of kibble in my kibble bowl and I can’t resist them, you know?

Then she says, “Nighty-night.”

And she walks away.

I gobble up the kibbles and then start miaowing most pitifully. She doesn’t listen. Or she pretends her ears are made of steel … well, she says she steels herself not to hear me.

So far she hasn’t weakened and let me out.

Me, asleep on the back of the couch. I was furious with old woman when she took away my towel. I hissed and showed my teeth.

She was not impressed, she said. And she said sh’d be washing it.

Pardon me, I’m sure.

Cat Diary 24

Guess what? I’ve lived here for four months and 25 days and I discovered this morning that the table on the balcony is quite an interesting place to be …

Quite a high place compared to where I usually sit and a good new angle to watch the passing parade of people down on the podium, going wherever they are going.

Foods that I like, so far …

Kibbles, kibbles, kibbles

Salmon in spring water

Salmon in olive oil, and sometimes smoked

Smoked salmon skin

Barbecued chicken, yum, bring it on

But I do not not not like smoked sardines, raw egg yolk, and I hate raw chicken.

Sachets of cat food are not my favourites either. And I will definitely turn my nose up at catnip flavoured treats.

Spoilt, the old woman calls me.

Cat Diary 23

Look at what the old woman has got into the house. I don’t like it. If I look away will it be gone?

No such luck, my magic isn’t powerful enough

She put it on my floor!

Is it alive?

It doesn’t smell alive!

Look at it looking at me! No, I don’t like it! I’m going to sit under the couch for a while perhaps it’ll get bored and be when I come out.

See? Ignoring it did the trick!

Cat Diary 22

Although we are more or less back to normal, there is a slight flavour of a new normal. For one thing, the old woman still has not tried to pick me up. A good thing that.

For another, she made my puzzle board about six times harder to find kibbles on. Not so good.

Everything is a different height and there is a little person sitting on it staring at me.

Another good thing is that she made more room at the edge of the balcony for me to sit and peer under it at the people passing by. I’m OK with that now.

I’ve been here four and a half months and I think I’ve done pretty well getting accustomed to some of the strangest things a cat has got to put up with. I mean, who has ever heard of puzzle boards for the likes of us?

And do you know, the only time I get a swag of kibbles in a bowl is at bedtime?